O.o

How is it possible to feel nothing and everything at the same time?

I'm living through things I never expected I would. Sometimes you have to just take it all good  and bad. Without hate, you can't understand love. Without turmoil, you can't savor peace. So I'm hopeful that all of this will benefit me later on. I'm a tough girl and I realize my outlook can change everything. It is so hard though sometimes to get to a point where you can convince yourself that you will be ok...that you will come out of this stronger. A part on me is scared to be strong though. I never want to be afraid to be vulnerable. Thats a strength in itself.....to not block out emotion. When a person gets hurt their mind goes through a healing process. When that part of you heals it can never reach that point of feeling ever again. On the plus side you may become immune to hurt, but who wants to become immune to love? 

So take it all good and bad. Apply it to new experiences. Never fully heal so you can always tap into that feeling and use it for understanding. I want to get a point I can tolerate pain to still embrace it. Still have realistic expectations about love and life while still giving the unexpected a chance. I can be the artist and the thinker. I want to be the lover and fighter.